Flash Fiction: 4 of 8 Random Words

It’s that time again. This week’s flash fiction challenge from terribleminds.com asked us to pick any 4 of the following 8 words: saw, milkshake, bath, flowerpot, wheelchair, bully, zoo, heretic.

I chose the first 4 and used them to craft this small little tale. Now normally I don’t want to colour anyone’s feelings about the story before they read it, and I particularly don’t want to in this case, but I feel I should say that while in absolutely no way explicit this story could potentially be disturbing to some so consider yourselves warned. On the other hand anyone who reads this warning and gets more excited to read the story will probably find themselves disappointed.

As always, feedback is appreciated. Loved even. Also, while you’re here feel free to look around and check the rest of the place out.

George and Sue

George sighed and finally pulled the plug on his bath. Standing up, he ran the shower for a final rinse and then got out to towel off and finish off his various preparations. His wife, Sue, poked her head in while he was brushing his teeth.

“Well it’s about time. I thought maybe you’d drowned up here or something,” she said.

“Ha ha,” George said, after spitting out a mouth of toothpaste suds. “You know I like to be clean and looking good before I go out.”

“Yes dear. I know. I’ll never understand, but I know. I mean, you’re just going out to get this month’s meat. Even worse, you’ll be splattered in blood when you get home,” Sue said.

“Having a dirty job to do is no excuse for showing up dirty.”

“Of course dear. Which is why your saw is cleaned, polished and laid out for you on the kitchen table.”

George flashed an affectionate smile at he wife. “Why thank you honey. Why the special treatment?”

“No reason. I just knew you were running a little late today and thought I’d help out. If you want to thank me you could whip up one of your triple-shot rum milkshakes after you get home.”

“Definitely. I’ll even use the real vanilla,” he said.

“In that case hurry it up here and get going. It’s going to drive me nuts waiting for that. Oh, I’m heading out back to pick out some flowers to plant in that gorgeous flowerpot the McMillans gave us so don’t bother looking for me when you’re leaving.”

“Ok dear. Have fun,” he said.

She left then and George turned back to the mirror for a quick shave, but he hadn’t even lathered up when she popped back in with one finger pointing at him accusingly.

“And George Filbert you better not bring back a bunch of tough and gamey meat. You might have fun chasing the panicked young ones around but I don’t appreciate the results when its on the plate. At the very least make sure most of the meat is of the sort I can serve proudly.”

“I promise dear, now go pick out your flowers and let me finish getting ready.”

George hummed to himself while he shaved and reflected on just how lucky he was to have married a woman like Sue. Finished his grooming he got dressed and went downstairs to collect his things. The saw was on the table like she promised. It gleamed. Beside the saw he found something new: a gorgeous hunting knife for field dressing, and a note.

“Happy early birthday dear! I love you very much. See you tonight.”

George smiled. He’d really have to make sure to find some choice meat tonight and make sure it was just the way Sue liked it. After all, he had the best wife in the world, and she appreciated him. What more could he ask for? Saw and knife in hand he checked himself once more in the hall mirror and picked up his hunting bag. A quick check made sure everything was there and the stun-gun’s batteries were charged. Satisfied he grabbed his keys and headed out to his van.

“All ready George,” he said to himself. “Time to go have some fun. Not too much though. A promise is a promise, and you’ve got a great wife waiting for her milkshake.”

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10 thoughts on “Flash Fiction: 4 of 8 Random Words

  1. Hmm. I love reading these kind of tales ; the ones that let my own [grisly, British] imagination fill in the gaps. What – or who – is the prey? Working on stun gun, I’m guessing it isn’t deer?
    John M. Ford was a master of getting his readers involved in a story by making them fill in the gaps – and results you get by working for them yourself tend to be more valued than something handed to you on a plate for free.

    • I’m glad you enjoyed the story. I’ll continue to leave it up to your imagination to fill in the blanks. That’s definitely what I was hoping to do with this little experiment.

      I’ve never read anything by John M. Ford – I’ll have to consider putting him on my list of writing to seek out.

  2. Stuff like this is right up my alley. Love the creep factor. I used saw, wheelchair, bully and flowerpot. Anyway, just wanted to say hi and I appreciate your work. Take care!

    • I love that people are digging the creep factor in this one. And I really appreciate anyone who is enjoying my work enough to say so, thanks! I’ll be popping over soon to read your story too.

    • I debated approving this because it I worry that it might be an attempt to open a crack for spam to pour through, or just someone trying to yank my chain. But hey, let’s see what happens. Anaxemander, if you don’t get it that’s no problem. I don’t expect everyone to like all my stories. I’d also assume that if you don’t “get” this one then you probably don’t want to. I’ve several other bits of flash here you could try out with plenty of different topics and styles. Poke around, take a look, and let me know what you think.

      • Thanks for approving my comment; will peruse your literature further. I’m reminded of a short story (I think it was by a famous author) dating back to my grade 12 days, which involved a man in a town getting increasing physical premonitions of his own death. Then, when the anticipated time of his death came, nothing happened, and then the story ended right there. It was frustrating and unenjoyable, as it built up to an empty climax, and ultimately left far too many unresolved questions and loose ends. Not as pointless as a story which ends with, “it was all just a dream”, but fairly close. As for this story of yours, I just wish there was more detail, and fewer unanswered questions. It is unsatisfying.

        • Hey, cool. Very happy to find out you’re a real person and it was a real comment. Glad I didn’t let it fall to the spam filter.

          I hope you’ll find some stories you like around here, though as most of it is 1000 words or less it’s very possible you’ll feel the same way about a lot of it. i.e. – not enough detail and not enough answers.

          Still, honest comments and feelings about the stories are always appreciated – it’s the main reason I post them. I write them for practice and I post them for feedback.

          You might like the Ballad of John Lee, which I just recently posted part 2 of. It’s an incomplete story but I’ve decided to write ongoing installments in a serial form so you might find more in it to enjoy as it progresses.

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